So this is how it Feels

So this is how it feels
I never thought this feeling existed
The longing and agony the pain one feels when there love one isn’t there

The distain of the mirage that the smell you smell is really not there
The heavenly scent the aroma I smelt
The beautiful skin under my finger tips when I kiss you
When we talk my finest moments are dreamed
Islands and kids that we could share
A lust of romance and a motion of love

When you aren’t there I feel myself alone
My heart slows down and my ears go deaf
They call my name and I don’t answer they say I’m not focused
But I am focused on you
When your body isn’t there
Your side of the bed is empty
A void at a knock at my door
The inefficient love for your delay of seeing
The gallant dismay of communication
Your pretending to love May you ever know how it feel
Do you ever find yourself feeling so stressed because you haven’t murmured that name?

Have your heart stop because you hadn’t heard their voice or seen their face
Had your appetite reduced because nothing fed you more than there hug and kiss
Have you dismissed your day for your day wasn’t worth living alone?

Swearing and attitude took over your spirit because you doubted the intentions
You felt the whole story wasn’t there the feeling of love took over your happiest thoughts were spoiled
Disappearing was a thought constant on your mind
Because the other was always gone
Always an excuse and a tear always shed
My heart to bleed eternally
My stomach churns and turns inside
My eye filled of dry tears
And my head ache from thinking why

Why didn’t you come?
Why didn’t we lay?
Why do I love you?
And why are you missed

And all my symptoms are medicine by your kiss

My earth shakes and my knees buckle
My eyes cross and my elbows turn in
My hair relaxes and this was off the thought so imaginary that fantasy was reality

Reality hadn’t set in that you probably didn’t feel the same
That I was just another leaf in the wind and not the seed that rooted the tree
But everything you were and are to me you will always be

In Your Bed

In Your bed i felt so safe
it felt so comfortable and no worries took place
In your bed one dreamed of me and you
In your bed it was just us two
In your bed one smelled this sweet aroma
so enamored by the thought of us
and the cloud floating on wasn't simple cotton sheets

the fluff of of your pillow and the touch of your skin
felt like silk and feathers beneath my finger tips
as i scrolled down your back and and gazed in your eyes
in your bed i laid with whispers against my ears and a heart beat on my back
flowing in this mist of early morning delight
a smell of vanilla ran through my nose
all senses were starting to erase

and reality took place

that whisper was nothing but the wind
that sweet aroma was tide and febreeze
the scroll down the back was a chill
the heart felt was the phone on vibrate
the touch was a rain drop from the window seal
and the vanilla was a cookie from lunch

oh in your bed dreams are of what life could be and when awaken i truly see what life is

maintaing difficulties

Is it just a young girls problem or are Guys really just difficult?
....
well its proven that all sexes have there spats but these days it seem that boys /men are becoming more confusing and complicated

men used to be simple and women use to love it because men as a species could easily be read

why are men difficult.
why they cant understand timeliness is key
being consistent should be something you strive for
why start off strong and end weak
everything isn't about sex
sex isn't the key it make things more difficult
Titles and Label aren't what make things hard
it the dumb things that the labels carry

friends with benefits a connection between two already strongly bonded individual strengthened by the executing and exchange of benifits such as sexual favors and monetary donations

maintaining the difficulties just be real
real with him and real with her

communication keeps down arguments and misunderstandings

dont hide anything past present or future plans

sex shouldnt be the first talk give it time

be honest .honesty is key
Dont hold your tongue if something is bothering you say it because its liable to happen again
maintain the difficulties

and have a sense of humor

so guys are difficult but they can be fixed

Almost Lock Out

The door was closing
and my hand was on the lock

my head was turning so i didn't see you returning
your clothes stuck in the cracks
you still on the other side
and me walking away

away from the your scent that u left on my scarf
so sensual and fresh even though you just got finish practicing
away from what i thought was a good ever so sweet beginning
your seductive voice
your pretty face so smooth and bright

oh how i felt your touch as i walked through the house
not realizing you were there
i turned around and felt your hand embraced my back
and and locked the door
and you said you love me and that was that

Real Age ,Real Good Real Love

Real Age,Real Good,Real Love: A book begins
By .DuBois

Thus I’m getting out of teen hood and I’m realizing I’m coming of age.
My phases are becoming shorter and my maturity is rising quickly...

Real things in a real world
A real me no more of a boy toy
Decisions are being made and i’m kind of confused
No more quick text and one night sex
No more partying to you fall or going out in my draws

Well not just them

I’m at that real age where my career is my choice
Life is opening more doors
My mind set is based on reality and experiences
I want to find that love
And not that thrust of lust
Is this crazy in 5 yrs I want to have my first baby

And right now I’m so confused I don’t even know
Where I lay on the tracks and when I marry to whom
I keep thinking of who will I love
Will it be the one I first kissed?
Will it be the one that I truly miss?
Will it be someone from my past or will it be the present

Because they are trying to make it last
Will it be a high school sweetheart or a dismissed relationship?
Will it be an associate or a best friend?
Will it be the one that left u and made u cry?
Will it be the one who u lie?

Real Age real questions
I want her or do I want him or boy this life of mine is getting to real
Really God what should I do I confessed
Are you going to handle the rest?

Real good
Oh how I think about you
Real good your love if there wasn’t a god
You would be the first real male love I ever knew
Wow its getting deep I can’t fall asleep because
It will be a Mr. and Mrs. So what is this now
I hate when people dismiss it and call it a phase
Because now i’m realizing it could be a disease something
That u catches through life’s heartaches
This isn’t love I'm talking bout not quite yet
I’m talking bout sexuality
It’s the girl to boy
Boy to boy and girl on girl relationship world
“I can do bad all by myself” NOT
Because if that was the truth there wouldn’t be love
Because love by its self is like and love produced by it is SAD

Real Good you treat me when we first met
Real Good you treated me from our first text
Real good u felt between calls and picture text
RealGood you felt when there was no else but us

Real Bad I feel when you stop answering the phone
Real Bad I feel when you forward my call
Real bad you feel when my body isn’t embraced against yours
But Real Good you’ll feel when i’m yours

Real love can start young it just take years to blossom
Love that’s real you must fall off mountains for
Real Love truer love I can’t imagine life without
That’s why each person in the world is looking for a spouse

Real Love we are afraid because parents and role models forget to show
Or you grow up in divorce separation, domestic abuse
Or without a father or mother to hold you
Real love is what mothers show
When they spend there only check to buy groceries to feed you
Or when they rush home because you have the flu

Real love is showed between siblings even though they might fight they love each other in spite
You can’t hit a sibling and not have the other one not on your steps by that night
Same goes for a man and his wife
Love is that phone call you wait for and when you don’t get you cry
Love is bruised and a battered heart
Because history had us fall and scrapped up that we are not healing fast enough
Love has are brains clouded and misjudging
Love real Love it’s confusing because a kiss could hold my future and I can’t make that move
My love could be in another state and I can’t afford that plane
Love put careers on hold and changes people religions and morals
Right now i’m Real Raw Real Ready Really real
So at this real age with these real questions and not feeling really good
I wanting that Real love

To be continued…

Cedrick DuBois Lee
Freespirit©copyrighted 2010
DuBois Writings